How do you stop unraveling every time there is a crisis in your life?
When you're triggered by events outside of your control the only counter to that trigger is to elicit a well practiced set of self-care tools. You can only control yourself and your response—self regulation tools when put into action help you be the "calm in the storm" - you are the lighthouse per se and it is what you have control over. Yourself. Your reactions.
Keep a list of tools mentally or if necessary write them down. Practice them regularly until they become familiar to your mind and body as the reminders to calm yourself. To love yourself and be compassionate with yourself.
Here are some ideas:
Listening to gentle music
Dimming the lights
Burning candles or incense
Reading words of wisdom
Personalize whatever it is that makes you feel good and at ease.