Being on your own on Valentine’s Day may put quite a damper on your mood. You may look enviously at friends and co-workers who are in relationships and are celebrating the day of love.
However, you shouldn’t feel down because of conventions and what this day is “expected” to be. Yes it is a day of and about love, but instead of dwelling on the fact that you are on your own, take a step back and evaluate your feelings for yourself. Take it as an opportunity to focus on what you love about yourself.
Maybe you have been too hard with yourself lately? I know I often am. Maybe you haven’t achieved a New Year’s goal yet or even stuck to one...but who cares? Take this day as a chance to be gentle and kind with yourself. Stop being your harshest critic and love everything about yourself including your perceived “flaws”.
Our society has a lot of focus on coupling and it seems to be featured everywhere in the month of February especially! Before you can become a couple if that’s what you want, you have to love yourself first. If we can't love ourselves we are not able to fully love another without losing our sense of self. Loving yourself is the kind of love that will make you feel whole and valuable. Nobody else’s love can do that. Loving yourself has a way of showing itself, it makes you glow with confidence, attracts others into your orbit and maybe even start the relationship you desire.
Journaling is a great way of practicing self-reflection.
What kind of love do you want in your life? Journal the details of what makes you feel loved and how you like to receive love. For some people it's words, for others it's in the actions or gifts. Gary D. Chapman explores the different ways that make us tick about love in his book "The Five Languages of Love".
Roses and chocolates are wonderful in the moment, but they can also be empty gestures. For gifts to mean something they need a follow-up, a kind of reinforcement. Similar to one backing up words with actions. Otherwise the hollow gesture can be even more painful than the momentary high of getting an "I love you" card.
Show yourself some love. You deserve it, you are beautiful, you are loved.
Here are a few ideas on how to celebrate yourself this Valentine’s:
• Wear your favorite outfit or treat yourself to a new one. You will feel strong and beautiful straight away and your brain appreciates the boost of serotonin.
• Make plans with your single friends. Celebrate each other, your awesomeness, your spirit and maybe your independent freedom. Share your love with a card or a box of chocolates or anything else you fancy. Giving out is as good as receiving. If no-one is available, plan your perfect date with yourself!
•. Go to the grocery store and choose your favorite ingredients to make a meal for "you"- celebrate yourself with a nice glass of wine.
• Light up some candles, draw a bubble bath or a special bath-bomb with your favorite scents. Add a glass of wine or some relaxing music and enjoy.
• Choose an uplifting book or movie, not a romantic one that is probably flawed with the idea that someone completes you! You complete you.
And remember, Valentine's is just another day on the calendar. You don't need to "hallmark" it and follow everyone else's rules. Roses are red, and I am not blue.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
West Vancouver, BC, Canada