The unexpected fallout of the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire, was not an increased interest in the occupation of sports agents, but rather millions of people suddenly believing their spouse or partner "completes" them. And if they do not complete them, then there has to be someone who does.
What a tragic relationship mess one movie was able to produce, and it is absolutely inexplicable why. Look at Renée Zellweger and Tom Cruise’s characters! They are both hot emotional messes, so broken that they cannot possibly “complete” or heal each other.
And the result? Millions of unhappy individuals running haywire on their quest to find the person that "completes" them. But then really, would you like a person as emotionally bent out of shape as Jerry Maguire to complete you? I could almost guarantee that prior to watching the movie, no woman would have even come close to choosing the guy with the gold fish.
What it boils down to is that you need to be whole, happy, and complete all by yourself. Nobody else will “complete” you nor does romantic love solve all your issues. Your partner or spouse will not be able to heal your old wounds, won’t balance you or your life, and any comfort given, will be temporary.
It is a romantic pitfall that a partner who completes you will wipe away all your tears and all your problems. A relationship by definition is a give and take. Someone else’s broken parts will not fix yours.
In the Passionate Marriage (2009), Dr. David Schnarch talks about losing your identity or self in a relationship derives from the fact that as an individual the person has not put down clear boundaries. Therefore, they are unable to stand on their own and are incapable of maintaining their own sense of integrity, both of which results in a power struggle.
The audience sighs with relief when Tom and Renée finally get together, teary-eyed and all, at the end of the movie. Yes, part of us, is glad when romance works out, but let’s face it, their needy relationship throughout the movie was so painful to watch that we cannot help but be glad that the movie is finally over.
Maybe Jerry Maguire is not a scam at all. Maybe it is a symptomatic presentation of what is wrong with relationships, today. Rather than working on yourself, healing yourself and completing yourself, we set out on an odyssey - to find someone to heal and “complete” us. And when that does not work, some people choose to divorce in hopes that the next person will “complete” them.
Jerry Maguire is more about “show me the money” and less about showing true love.
Being whole and complete in yourself, preserves your boundaries, your integrity; your relationship will then not consist of two broken halves, but two fabulous entities that can truly appreciate each other.
Of course, this is not a journey you have to set out on your own, your life coach is always looking forward to being part of your personal growth.
Discover your true self through life coaching, fully aligned with who you are, whole and complete. Through my training as a life coach, I'm looking forward to holding the space for you during times of healing and moments of redefinition. Let me support you in "completing" yourself.